Disclaimer: Realize that I know that I have one or more exes that read this, as well as the current man in my life, so please note that the forthcoming statements are neither a reflection upon them, nor are they some twisted hint with the impending doom of V-Day.
I struggle every year with whether or not Valentine's Day is particularly important to me, whether I'm in a relationship or not. It always seems as though there is this unneeded pressure that is added to be the perfect date for someone on that day, even if it's just a night with your girlfriends. In fact, probably more so if it's a night with your girlfriends because they are going to be overwhelmed by the label of "Singles Awareness Day". Why is Valentine's Day so important to women? (It may be important to some guys to, I've just never experienced that particular phenomena). And why is getting what seems to have to be the perfect gift so important?
Here is what I have figured out after talking to so many women about Valentine's Day plans gone awry, tacky and/or thoughtless gifts they've received, countless missed opportunities by their boyfriends, and of course the dreaded "he didn't make any plans or buy me even a card".
After having many a Valentine's Day end in tears for me while in a seemingly stable relationship, I can sympathize with their plight of feeling like their men just don't get them. How many men have heard their girlfriend say, "It's the thought that counts?" I said it so many times I can't even count. I plan events for a living that are typically pretty high-end events, so the poor sap that has to plan something special for me, know has a task on his hands already; which is why I really am very grateful for the "thought" that IS put into something that is done for me. However, while subtlety has never been my strong suit, I pride myself on not being a demanding girlfriend; but I actually came right out with one boyfriend and told him that there are 3 days a year that he is expected to make the plans and just tell me what we are doing: My birthday, our anniversary, and Valentine's Day. I never expected a string quartet or some grand gesture of epic proportions. I never even really expected some expensive gift. Still, it always seemed that there was no planning ahead done. He was "that guy" wandering the mall for a gift and searching through cards left on the Hallmark aisle at Walgreens on what seemed to always be the day before or day of.
It's the thought that counts....
Yes. It is and this is what that translates to:. (and I'm going to pick on men for a minute but try not to get offended) You can't have that thought on the day before or day of. Guess what? Valentine's Day is on the same day every year. If you're in a relationship on February 1st, and you plan on still being in that relationship two weeks following that, that's probably the latest you want to start thinking about it. I may be speaking for myself here, although I don't THINK I am, but women don't need a huge teddy bear and a box of chocolates! We don't need you to buy us jewelry! We don't need an expensive gift! We want you to have put thought into something that is meant for us. The most generic thing you can get away with is sending her flowers, preferably some place where she can show them off, and that doesn't mean a dozen roses necessarily. Make an effort to find out what her favorite flower is and send those. Here's an insider female secret: If your girlfriend works some place and she has co-workers, and especially if she is a professional female and has a desk or works where she will be around people AT ALL that day, have them delivered to her work and I promise, you win at life. Every woman loves being able to show off when her man thought of her because all women know that if flowers got delivered to you at work, that means the man put in enough effort to order them and have them sent to the right address. Sounds silly but it's true.
Also, if you're going to give a card, picking out the right one is important. This is the ONLY part of the gift that you can ever get away with getting last minute, even though you might be left with only that music card that sings "Let's Get It On". If you're going to make the effort enough to buy a card to go with your gift, than it should at least say something meaningful. NO, it doesn't have to be super mushy, it just has to fit the situation. You wouldn't want to give someone you've known 2 months a card that is all "I Love You with all my heart". Just make the card appropriate and fitting. When you read the card, if it makes you think of her, that's the card, same with the gift.
One way or another, the key with gift giving for women is the effort and thought put into it. We all pay attention to the details about our men and want our men to do the same for us. I almost never ask for something specific for any gift giving holiday. I don't expect my man to have to either. You should know each other well enough to know what the other person enjoys doing and be able to give them something that is centered around that. It's about paying attention enough. Hence the reason no thought (or last minute thought, unless you are great at thinking on your feet) = bad gift = women thinking their men don't get them at all. And if you haven't been in your current relationship that long, You maybe do want to stick to the flowers and candy...but for god's sake please no 4ft teddy bears. Where exactly do you expect us to store that thing?
