Another point of view

I made a decision yesterday to make this blog public. It cost me my co-author. However, it also brought about a different point of view to light. A fellow female felt that I have emasculated men by some of these posts. I was immediately taken aback by the statement since I am so typically old fashioned about a man being a man. So I asked her, 'Did I emasculate men in some way?' The following was her response:

"Of the men I know, that I count as men (& that takes some doing. I mean, they really have to prove it to get that distinction from me), I would venture to guess after reading this, they'd say "yes". If you want to build someone up, you don't do it by first beating the crap out of them. If you always have the ball (which is how this somewhat presents), you're only going to find one who never wants it. There is a great strength that comes through quiet diligence and discipline that needn't be recognized. I honestly believe there are loads of men out there who want strong, amazing, beautiful women. I think too often such women refuse to allow them to be men. It's a complicated balance, but for starters, if you like to give pleasure more than you get it in bed, if you like to hunt as much if not more than being hunted, then, I'd say, yes, that's emasculation. Women are delicate in their own way as are men. A man's ego and his need to be respected is often trampled in this world. Every "strong" woman will disregard me for saying such, but a man wants to come home & be a man. Not a well trained dog. I'm really not the person to discuss this because I think the battle of the sexes has reached critical mass, & at this point in the game, I think we shame men for being manly & then disregard them for not being manly enough. They're damned if they do, damned if they don't. I empathize (believe me) with your plight, but at almost 40, I've decided it's best for me to grow myself in wisdom, humility, & grace. If I'm doing that, either a man will be attracted to me whom I can admire or he won't. But I can rest in the assurance that someone, at least one person, is better off because I've chosen to live such a way"

After reading her response, I was flabbergasted because I agreed with her 100% and it was the exact point I was trying to get across. Too often women criticize men for being men but then get mad when that same man opens the door for them. I find myself infuriated by the conversations of females who are upset with their significant other over the fact that he is simply acting like a guy. Of course he'd rather stay home and play video games or watch SportsCenter instead of going shopping with you! He's a dude! Nine times out of ten, I'd rather go drink wine with my girls than stay at home and play video games. (Although I am sort of atypical because I like video games AND SportsCenter.)

"If you always have the ball (which is how this somewhat presents), you're only going to find one who never wants it."
THAT is exactly what I am talking about....giving up the ball. Too often I have held on tightly to the ball and was not willing to give it up and hand it over. The start of this blog was the beginning of the hand-off. It's the journey of finding someone who will gladly take it from me.

I also asked for a man's opinion (because I felt it necessary). The man I asked knows me extremely well and knows exactly how I act in the confines of a relationship. I asked him if he thought me to be emasculating or if he thought my opinions in the blog were. To my surprise he said yes. However, what he said after was a point of view I had not thought of. He said to me, "you're not the only one that wants to give up the ball and not make decisions when you get home. What about the guy who has been working just as hard and making decisions all day as well?" And there it was staring me in the face. 'The battle of the sexes' that, as my female cohort had put it, has 'reached critical mass'. He also told me what his view on being a 'trained dog' was. It's not that men don't want to know what to do to make us happy. It's not that they only do those things in order to make us happy. However, once it becomes merely a trained response, it's beyond reproach to the point of routine and boring. Men like mystery, intrigue, and 'the hunt', if you will. It truly is a complicated and delicate balance between letting a woman be a woman and a man be a man and being able to be both together.

So let me just state, I have had no intention of emasculating men. I enjoy healthy debate (especially on the topic of the battle of the sexes) and want to hear your opinions.